


Like Seeing Your Soul

by Pikerus_Angel



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen, kind of?, magical realism?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-01
Updated: 2012-11-01
Packaged: 2017-11-17 13:16:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/551964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pikerus_Angel/pseuds/Pikerus_Angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony is acting weird. Then again, maybe it's just Stark Normal. Bruce doesn't have any experience with these things.</p>
<p>Or, where Tony sees things he shouldn't and it takes Bruce a while to find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like Seeing Your Soul

**Author's Note:**

> First real attempt at Avengers fanfic. Um, enjoy?

At first Bruce isn’t sure how to react to Tony. The man is a whirlwind of constantly moving energy and ideas. When Tony storms in he hangs back, observing. No one seems to notice how the other man very precisely gets into everyone’s space, though not in as much of a physical sense in Fury’s case. It’s a little bit stunning to watch.

What surprises him further is how Tony rushes to get over to _him._ They shake hand and the engineer compliments his work… and then looks over Bruce’s shoulder and compliments the Other Guy.  Bruce has enough experience with people to notice when they aren’t looking him in the eye, where that gaze might be focused, but what’s strange is how Tony meets his gaze up until that point. He lets it go though, follows Tony to the lab, and slips into the work. It can’t be that important. After all, most people avoided looking at someone when mentioning a known touchy subject.

For all that Bruce has heard of Tony Stark he genuinely isn’t that bad. The man can’t seem to stand silence, always humming or talking, but the only time it truly bothers Bruce is when he pushes the issue of the Hulk (always looking at him this time). He also keeps… staring. Whenever he gets lost in a train of thought he looks over in Bruce’s direction – never directly at Bruce, not one time – and watches. Like there’s something behind him or at his side that no one else can see. Oddly enough he doesn’t feel the usual prickle under his skin but that’s easily disregarded.

Of course, eventually it all goes to hell.

{][][}

Afterwards Bruce expects to have to run and do it quickly. S.H.I.E.L.D. had been keeping tabs on him, protecting him, but there’s no way he can rely on that. The sooner he can get under all radars the better, really. That would cause a lot less trouble for everyone. The only major wrench in the plan is, well, Tony Stark.

Because at first Tony offers him a place to stay, just until they send Loki home, which Bruce very hesitantly accepts. With that comes a roof over his head, the idea that maybe he was safe, a lab, and having someone to talk to who understands his language for the first time in almost five years. It’s a little bit stunning and… surprising how much he missed stability.

And then suddenly a few days turns in to “well, I need help with a project that I would _really_ appreciate your expertise on, Banner” which turns into weeks and suddenly he’s been there for six months with no problems.

Perhaps that’s the most alarming thing. There is literally nothing going wrong. He hasn’t Hulked out, hasn’t even felt a stirring of the Other Guy, the entire time he’s been there. Usually one of the worse nightmares will at least result in a hint of green when he wakes up but there’s simply nothing. Well, nothing except Tony occasionally offering tea and an escort back to his own room when he has one in the lab. To be honest it only makes him worry more both for himself and for the safety of everyone (Tony) in the tower.

Other than that, the little niggling bit of his brain which is worrying and hoping that maybe he’ll get to stay, things are good. He works on his own projects, sometimes with Tony helping and sometimes helping Tony. There are still days when Tony will just stare and his movements seem… big. Just patting Bruce on the shoulder looks like it takes a giant, unnecessary movement and several steps. If he didn’t know better Bruce would say Tony is trying to hit something at his back except that’s crazy because there never is anything. Of course.

{][][}

Seven months in something happens which Bruce isn’t quite sure how to explain.

He’s having a nightmare, deep in the terrors of his own mind. Outwardly he knows they’re quiet – a little crying, a little shaking, but overall he seems to try and stifle the noises even in sleep. Inwardly it is hell. It’s being ripped apart from the inside out and his mother’s empty eyes and being locked up and chained like the monster he must be, has been told he is forever now-

And suddenly he startles awake and Tony just keeps talking.

“Just let him be scared, Big Guy. I’ve told you this before; it’s normal, healthy even! It’s how we can work out problems without having to really think about them, you know?” He pauses, like there’s some sort of reply that Bruce can’t hear. “See? Look, he’s calming down already.” Fingers run through his hair and Bruce can feel himself drifting off already, mind buzzing with questions but too emotionally exhausted to ask them. “Thanks for letting him handle this.”

And then Bruce is asleep and the entire conversation (was it a conversation?) slips from his mind.

{][][}

Almost ten months in. Ten months without any sort of incident and there’s a crisis. Not just one that they can call him to consult for, but one which they need him for in a more violent capacity. Because without him people will die and it’s incredibly possibly that they’ll lose, especially with Thor still on Asgard. So he goes out and allows himself to be engulfed by green.

It never hurts as much when he changes willingly but it always aches when he changes back. Something about muscle and bone having to stretch and realign themselves that simply isn’t supposed to happen, he mused.

That’s how he wakes up, aching and dry mouthed in the middle of a pile of rubble with no memory of what has happened. For the moment it seems best to stay there until someone comes to collect him.

Of course it’s Tony. Tony, who strolls up to him and tosses a pair of pants as casually as one can perform such an action. With a groan Bruce grabbed them from where they landed, pulling them on and not caring how his dignity may have suffered. Really, they’d all seen him in a similar state after the Chitauri.

“Did I…” he cleared his throat, trying to get his vocal cords to work properly again. “Did I hurt anyone?”

Maybe Tony has noticed how this is the only context where he’ll speak as though he and the Hulk are the same person. Maybe he doesn’t care. Either way it doesn’t really matter.

With a small, blasé shrug Tony shook his head. “No one but the bad guys.” This is honestly a more reassuring sentence than it has any right to be but Bruce takes it anyway, holds it close for the briefest of moments. Even as a monster maybe he can do good.

It isn’t until later that he finds out what exactly happened, sees the video footage. Tony wasn’t lying when he said the Hulk didn’t hurt anyone he wasn’t supposed to. What’s surprising is the extent of that. Bruce stares in amazement as the giant green mass flies across the screen, shelters people from harm and almost seems to be following orders, more so when those orders come from Tony.

Bruce allows himself to be happy about this particular incident, doesn’t include it in his ever growing count.

{][][}

It happens again.

Not the battles. Well, those happen too with frankly alarming frequency some months but that’s not important. The Hulk is working as a force of good, doing what needs to be done, and it’s perhaps one less thing to be angry about.

No, what happens again are the nightmares. More specifically, Tony talking to him during a nightmare. Except maybe even that phrasing isn’t correct because it seems like Tony isn’t talking to him at all. In fact it seems like he’s talking to…

“Hulk,” Tony says, very slowly and very calmly and Bruce cracks open his eyes just enough to see but not noticed doing so. Of course, there’s nothing there besides Tony, who is sitting cross legged on the floor and looking very seriously at an empty patch of air. “I know you want to protect him but trust me on this – you _can’t._ ” Wait, is Tony actually in his room this time? Bruce is pretty sure he went to sleep in his own bed and not on the couch in his lab. “And it won’t get better, not really, and they will probably never go away and you need to accept that you can’t change that.”

There’s a moment of silence and Tony’s expression morphs into one of displeasure. Suddenly, he sticks out a hand in front of Bruce’s chest, eyes hard and Bruce feels the Other Guy at the back of his mind. “He doesn’t need you to protect him. Not from this, anyway.”

And just as suddenly as it came on it’s gone. Whatever he felt of the Hulk is just… gone. Like it was never there in the first place, and it’s that more than anything else that makes Bruce open his eyes, worry settling into every inch of his expression.

“Tony…” The other man turns around towards him, eyes widening in surprise. “Who are you talking to?”

As he turned towards Bruce Tony seems to make a small gesture in the direction he’d been staring towards, the kind you’d make when asking someone to stay quiet. Like there was someone there to _ask_. “I’m… not entirely sure you’d want to know.” Bruce gave a small noise of frustration and Tony’s gaze flickered to the side again. Whatever he saw he was clearly all right though because he didn’t do anything else.

“Tell me anyway.”

“You really don’t want me to.”

“Yes I do.”

“It would piss you off.”

“I’m pissed off now!”

“But not enough for the Other Guy to start creeping up.” It’s said pointedly; like a very simple, very obvious fact.  Of course Tony would say it that way, wouldn’t he?

Fully registering the words Bruce blinked slowly, once again glancing over at the space Tony had continually found to fascinating. “How would you know?” He wasn’t at the point where his eyes would start flashing. In fact, even as the irritation rose he continued to not feel the Hulk’s pressing presence in his head. Almost like he was holding back… or being held back. Neither option seemed plausible or appealing.

Tony cursed under his breath, for the briefest moment glancing down and away. It’s an action that, on a normal day, Bruce would have considered disconcerting, but right now he’s more focused on trying to push down the frustration he feels at information being kept from him again. Either the engineer didn’t notice or he didn’t care and a lot of people would have lost the bet on which it was.

Running a hand through his hair Tony finally, really looked at him which was more of a relief than Bruce would admit.  “There… may be something I’ve been keeping from you. Since we met. Well, not just you – everyone. The team, S.H.I.E.L.D., everyone.”

This, in Bruce’s opinion, was not a good way to start any sort of explanation. Then again, Tony didn’t seem one for tact in a general sense _(“And I’m a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn in to an enormous green rage monster”_ ). Still, he motioned for Tony to go on, ignoring the sudden press of nerves in his gut and the questioning rumble of the Other Guy in his head. Tony still seemed to give a slight grimace, but he didn’t move.

“That is really not necessary,” he said, glancing over. “And I’m not talking to you, Bruce. I, uh, how do I put this… Are you aware that you have a not-so-enormous, green not-so-raging monster currently holding on to your shoulder?”

Bruce blinked.

“Okay, you aren’t. Well, you see, I can kind of see him and have been able to for, well, as long as I’ve actually known you.” The engineer shrugged and Bruce simply stared. “He’s really just very protective, and it doesn’t matter much who he’s protecting you from. It could be bad guy of the week, me, even you as long as you aren’t overly stressed and overall safe. The fact of the matter is he’s been touching you on and off for over an hour while you were asleep – again – and I came in to tell him you’re all right. And during this whole conversation but you’re frustrated and you’re doing that thing with that crinkle between your eyebrows so you’re also worried.”

“What?” Bruce cocked his head, expression settling more into one of confusion than worry. “Tony what… what are you talking about? Seeing- that wouldn’t actually be possible. The Other Guy isn’t…”

“But he is!” Tony insisted. “You honestly can’t see him? Jesus, I thought you were just ignoring him to look normal. He’s right there, Bruce. He is right fucking there.” He motioned toward the space just to the left of Bruce and the rumbling in the back of the physicists mind turned to something almost… fond. Exasperatedly fond. “Can’t you feel him at least?”

“Yes, of course. Otherwise I wouldn’t know my emotional and physical limits as well as I do. But Tony it’s just in my head. You shouldn’t… There should be no way for you to see him. Ever. Unless I actually lose control or let him out.”

“Jesus fucking- Okay, let’s put it this way. Do you feel him that often now?” Which honestly seemed a bit out of left field. After giving it a moment of thought Bruce shook his head slowly, wondering what the other man was getting at. “Do you feel him right now?” Again, Bruce nodded. “And right now he’s touching you. A lot of the time he doesn’t but right now he is, except he’s not doing that weird meld-y thingy or getting bigger, which is what he started doing on the Helicarrier. A lot.” Which almost made sense, gave some added credibility to Tony’s claim. He hadn’t outwardly shown his nerves at all and the anger only manifested just before the attack – there was no way for Tony to have known about him continually having the push the Other Guy down.

After a second Tony plopped down beside him, staring intently, head cocked, before his lips twitched. “You just stopped being able to feel him.”

Bruce started slightly, having been lost in his own thoughts, and was further surprised by that fact that Tony was right. The rumble had dissipated and for a moment he wondered what Tony saw, what the Hulk looked like right then to him. Of course he was still wary about the whole idea, still a bit worried, and he’d have to look into it further but… right now Tony seemed stable, in his right mind, and Bruce just about believed him.

For now, anyway.


End file.
